So much for a non-depressing post....

My kitty died last night.  He was going to be 20 this march.  I know, I know... I should have expected it.  But I didn't.  I am horrible with change and especially death.  He has been with me since I was 8.  He was my baby and my firstborn.  I can remember the day we went and got him.  I can remember him through so many things.  I wasn't even here.  I was at Kelly's.  It kills me that I didn't get to say goodbye and see him alive one more time.  I didn't want to see him before he went to the vet to .... ok I can't even talk about that part.  To me, it was just like seeing someone in their coffin.  I absolutely hate doing it.  It freaks me out and I didn't want to do that for Tiger.  I miss him so much.  I haven't been able to really stop crying since I found out.  I'm a weepy mess.  Apparently he was cuddling with my mother when he stopped breathing.  That makes it a little better as last week he was locked in the basement so that he wouldn't jump on daddy after he had shoulder surgery.  That makes me feel like a terrible person.  But there is no way I could have known he was going to die this weekend.  I miss him.  I stare at his picture and I just want to touch him and curl up with him. 

RIP my beautiful kitty.  Tiger Tigger The Purrbox.... November 12, 2011.  Forever love you!

Ok, I'm going to try to upload pictures again since they wouldn't last time....

Ok apparently not.  it let me upload one picture and no more..... GRRRR.

Snowtober?!

Ech.  I just never want to blog right now... I always feel like it is just going to be all out negative.  I'm trying so hard to get past this.  We never thought we would hit two years living with my parents.  We are definitely going to hit two years.  And we may even be pushing into 2012.  I can tell you now, if we ring in the new year in this house... I will cry all night long.  I need a new beginning.  We all do.  

I was all excited that this house might pull through and we would be able to decorate our own house for Christmas this year.  Sadly, I don't think that is going to happen.  Not one bit.  It makes me want to curl up and cry.  It's not the same not decorating your own house.  Last year a fight happened and I didn't do any decorating.  The first year we were here, things were still good since we'd only been back a couple weeks... The Christmas spirit will not be here in me if we are still here.  I really didn't want my daughter to celebrate her 2nd Christmas in someone else's house.  This house situation has been going on for over a year now.  Who knew that it was such a rough and tough process!  I think we are all beyond frustrated.  We can only hope to remain appreciative to what we do have though.  I am seriously trying to focus on that right now.  Everything is out of our hands so we need to be beyond appreciative.  AHHHH.

So it snowed the weekend of my birthday!  How awesome!  There were still some patches of snow on Halloween :)  HEHE.  Now if only we can have a White Christmas too!  

Ok so I tried to add pics... it won't let me.  I'll try again later.