New plan….

I did it.  I switched plans!  I was struggling so bad and so unhappy.  Yes, I’d already lost a bunch of weight… but I was miserable.  Beyond miserable.  All I did was switch from 3 liquid meals a day to two plus one actual meal.  I went from 600 calories to 1000.  Still a low calorie diet.  I’ve also been more comfortable to add in A LOT more exercise.  Today alone I walked 4 miles.  I had a blast doing it.  My plan is to start trying some P90x in the next few days too.  I feel amazing.  I can’t remember the last time I felt so good.  I see the littlest differences in things like my face, my thighs, my fingers… it’s awesome.  I ended up having to buy some new pants (wore out the thighs… damn thunder thighs)… I went from 16-18s to 12-14s.  One pair I got were 14s and another were 12s.  I feel so skinny and good in the 12s.  It was the best feeling.  Everyone keeps commenting on the changes.  I love it.  I can’t wait to keep it up.  Charli is loving all of the walks.  I am even toying with the idea of attempting jogging.  *GASP* haha.  We shall see.  No matter what, I have to start slow.  Every time I try to get the ball rolling with working out on the regular, I tweak my back enough to derail.  I refuse to let that happen this time.  REFUSE.  I am just over 2 months away from my *29 for the second time* birthday… my goal was 30 by 30.  I am SO close to that already.  I am 22lbs down.  22 freaking pounds.  THAT IS INSANE.  In just 5 weeks!  I can do this.  I CAN DO THIS.  In this whole 6+ year journey, I have never hit this point.  Never been so determined. 

Thank you to everyone who has supported me, complemented me and understood what I was going through.  I couldn’t do this without you all! 

Update!!!

I have officially lost 20lbs.  I have also lost inches everywhere! 

It is awesome.  But it hasn’t been easy.  This past week I cheated literally every single day.  Most days I tried to stick to at least it not being horrible cheats.  But I am still seriously struggling.  In fact, I was planning on calling (or going in this week) and telling them I wanted to switch off of this program.  I mean, what good is the strictness of a program if I am unable to stay on it (because I am so hungry I’m nauseous, not because I can’t mentally do it).  BUT then I took some “after” pictures and was shocked.  Floored.  Amazed.  In awe.  Excited.  I am probably not going to post them, I am still really embarrassed of them (and I’m in a tank top and my undies).  It was just the motivation I needed.  I can’t believe the huge difference 20lbs has made.  EVEN with my cheating.  So, I am going to try to hold out for the last few pounds I wanted while on this particular program.  I am so close.  My 30 by 30th birthday will be blown out of the water at this point!  I am so excited.  I can’t wait!  So, I will probably stay on this program for a couple more weeks.  Then I will be switching over so that I can do 2 meal replacements and then regular meal a day. 

 

Here is to NOT cheating and losing the last few pounds I wanted while on this program

JIMMY BUFFETT

So, I have now earned the title of BEST WIFE EVER This story begins back in TX…… We had plans for a game night with one set of friends… another set of friends called us saying they had FREE tickets for us to go see Jimmy Buffett because friends of theirs backed out.  Aaron LOVES Jimmy.  His dream concert/date/day is Jimmy Buffett.  He didn’t want to bail on our friends who we already had plans with… I understand that.. but this was an amazing opportunity and the friends would TOTALLY understand!  I’d expect them to do the same to us if a situation like this came up for them!!!  Long story short- we didn’t go.  Any time since then I’ve seen a concert near us, tickets were $150 each.  NOT HAPPENING.  Sorry babe.  So fast forward 4-5 years… I hear he is in town.  I go on my phone and look at ticket prices… $150.  I’m bummed.  I get home and look on the computer (I guess I couldn’t get everything going on my phone)…. tickets were reasonable.  Extremely reasonable.  I bought them.  I didn’t tell him.  I went and bought him some Margaritaville flip flops to add to the surprise.  THEN I found out that one of his friends and his gf (whom we hadn’t met yet *ahem* Picciano…..) were also going and we made plans to tailgate!  So Friday night I told Aaron about it (so I could figure out food for it…). He was excited.  We went and spent a couple hours before the concert with Picciano and Tori, went in, then hung out for an hour after.  IT WAS AWESOME. 

See Aaron there…barely HA.  I am bad at group selfies! (and Tori all perfect HAHA)

Be jealous… :)

It was so worth it!  Aaron was like a kid in a candy shop on Christmas morning!!!!  It was so cute!  Now we want to make it an annual thing.  We VERY RARELY get to go out out with friends without Charli.  We get time without her… but we usually stay at home or just go out to dinner at home…. This weekend was filled with so much friend time and fun!  It was perfect!  Busy but perfect!  We need more friend time and more time out childless doing fun things!

Monday will be 3 weeks…..

Three weeks of hell.  Hell that has helped me lose 18 pounds so far!  I miss food.  I am struggling with not having variety.  I am STILL not understanding why all of their food has aspartame in it.  Frustrates me…

As of last Sunday, I had lost 16 pounds.  So, when we went to my family reunion… I decided I was going to stray from my diet but keep my portions tiny and TRY to stay within a normal calorie limit.  (I am eating 600 calories a day now and normal is about 1200).  I did VERY good and LOVED eating different foods!  I even had a latte… that being said, I was planning on sticking to my diet starting Monday again.  No straying.  I planned on getting back into walking since I hadn’t been able to do much from my super low BP.  Fast forward a week… I still haven’t been able to really do much walking… I have tried to make it a point to go up and down my stairs as often as possible in my house.  My blood pressure is still pretty low.  It’s definitely giving me a run for my money.  I dealt with it when I was pregnant, but I was able to stabilize it and get used to it.  This time, it's all over the place.  One day its normal, the next its super low.  So I am struggling.   I try to do what I can though.  Cleaning, painting, running up and down the stairs…

I miss food.  I will have ONE bite of something Aaron has or even what Charli has to try to satisfy my want for different food.  USUALLY it helps.  The past few days…. it hasn’t been helping.  I am dreaming about searching for food and eating it.  I am dreaming about finding a bathroom and then peeing (shockingly, I haven’t woken up wet….).  They told me that even though I am drinking 3 liters of water a day (they suggest 2 and no more than 3-4) my numbers are saying I need more.  So on Thursday I tried to drink 4 liters.  I was literally CRYING at the end of the night trying to finish drinking that much.  It was making me so nauseous.  I decided it wasn’t for me.  Those numbers can stay how they are… 4 liters of water a day are ridiculous.   I tried.  It was making me feel sick. 

Today and yesterday… I’ve been a raging psycho crazy bitch.  I want food.  I am wanting to eat people’s arms off.  I don’t understand how people can do this.  I am hoping I am able to keep doing this and meet my goal and then just do the nutritional counseling.  I am finding myself wanting to sneak snacks and hide food.  I don’t want to be that person.  I see a difference.  Everyone else is mentioning the difference.  I am able to wear clothes I haven’t been able to wear in a LOOOOONG time.  I am hoping this will keep me on the right path.  In group they tell you it gets easier, even the others in the program further than me.  For me, it’s getting harder and harder. 

Searching for the light at the end of the tunnel…… every day.