I am so sick of this feeling. Like everything is just going to crush me. Fall in on me. Consume me. Nothing seems to work. Talking, getting away, reading, getting lost in the computer…NOTHING. I just want things back to the way they were. At this current moment I don’t see how that will ever happen.
My frustration with Charli is just hitting an all time high. 95% of the time everything is perfect and great with her. But her temper tantrums are reserved for me… her fussiness is reserved for me… her talking is reserved for EVERYONE ELSE. She won’t talk for me…. if I try to make her talk and push her to do it… she walks away from me. Anyone else, she will usually say it at least once. It is so frustrating. But I do at least know it is because she is with me all the time and that she feels she doesn’t have to perform for me. At least my child is smart enough to know she doesn’t have to perform for me in order for me to still love her. I have done something right there at least. I am starting to kind of feel like teaching her some baby signs, while it does lessen her frustration at not being able to communicate some, that she is just going to rely on that solely right now. She is so quiet! It is almost like my child is a mute. How did I of all people birth a mute LOL. No matter everything going on with her and her frustrations and not talking… I love this kid more than life. I will do anything for her. I love watching her grow and change and seeing her cute little faces. I really should do a collage and call it the Many Faces of Charli…. she is a nut.
I read this book called Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Piccoult this weekend. I figured reading some books on marriage and life and it all falling apart, would help me. It didn’t. It made things worse I think. I can sum it all up in one word how my life is right now. BLECH. AHHHHHH.
Here are a couple pics from our trip to NY
We got over a foot of snow while we were there!
No comments:
Post a Comment