Blessings….

Sometimes you just have to sit back and count your blessings.  Make your chat with God a little bit different that day.  Every day I chat with the Big Guy. It’s not something I grew up doing… but as I have grown up, I have learned to rely more on Him and talk to Him more often and as he is a friend so to speak.  I have a running convo going on with Him regularly since we found out I was pregnant with Charli bug.  When Aaron and I had started talking kids… we both decided we wanted our kids to know God.  To be comfortable with him.  That meant I had to become more comfortable with him.  I am still working on it.  Privately, I have NO problem.  Publicly, I struggle.  It is not a secret that I believe in God.  It is not a secret that I trust in Him.  Where I struggle is actually talking to others about God.  Some people can just come out and be like “yea, last night was really rough but I talked to God and he let me know it was going to be all ok and that he had a reason for everything”… I can’t do that yet.  I don’t know why, but I can’t… not yet.  I am trying to work on that. 

 

So there is a reason for that little paragraph.  Lately, life has just flat out sucked.  To a point.  Every aspect of my life has kinda sucked except for Charli.  Every day I am able to put a smile on my face and mean it.  Charli just has a way to be able to make me smile and laugh.  She is hilarious and quite the nutcase!  I love it!  Lately she is getting more and more adventurous (and oblivious).  So yesterday was quite the special day… we went to DCA to visit Aaron for the day.  The drive down wasn’t bad at all.  We picked Aaron up at the hotel and he drove us to Pentagon City Mall to park and take the Metro into DC.  I am NOT a fan of the Metro in any way.  They skeeve me out, freak me out and just BLECH.  Well we got on and were on our way… Charli loved it… I had a couple little anxiety attacks and tears followed. 

                                        

We fairly quickly got to the Smithsonian stop.  We went straight to the National Mall for some pictures (I may be obsessed with pictures)

                      

We were planning on going to the Air and Space Museum… we figured Charli would love it.  Let me start by saying she hadn’t napped on the way down so a nap wasn’t going to happen unless she fell asleep in the stroller…. bahahaha fuuuunnnny.  Definitely didn’t happen.  But she was fairly entertained so it worked out.  We basically let her do anything she wanted as to fend off a temper tantrum.  So we spent a couple hours there and then decided to head back and get dinner at Pentagon Row.  We were so stupid getting on the metro at 430-5… it was packed.  But somehow I managed to not have an anxiety attack… I was petrified that we wouldn’t be able to get off at our stop though.  It wasn’t an issue thankfully.  So on to the fun part… we tried to go to an Irish Pub but again… wrong time.  Happy Hour=crazy.  We went to Chammps!  Food was awesome.  Charli decided to all out choke.  I mean like stopped breathing-look of absolute fear on her face.  I grabbed her out of her high chair and just as I was going to lean her forward she got it out.  THANK GOD.  So my anxiety was just about to completely bubble over the top.  (This is where the whole first paragraph of this comes into play).  I started to pray REALLY hard for God to bring me some calm.  I needed Him to relax me enough to eat and enjoy my family time.  So we finished up dinner and went out to the promenade to hang out.  Charli say and watched the ice skating rink and we followed/watched her.  She was so cute just exploring and having freedom.  So moving on… Aaron was sitting on the concrete bench they have surrounding the landscaping… I was sitting on the concrete bench surrounding the fountain (wasn’t on).  Charli was going in between us just being silly.  So one time she goes to head towards me.. she starts running… she ends up TRIPPING and going mouth first into the concrete bench with her mouth open.  Momma mode stepped in and I grabbed her up so fast after she slammed her mouth into the concrete.  I freaked and just held her as she screamed.  I gave her a second and pulled her back from me so we could survey the damage…. considering how bad it was and how HORRIBlE it sounded, I figured we’d end up in the ER and have broken/missing teeth and a gorefest.  Nope.  She barely had a tiny cut on her lip… a scrape really.  A very little bit of blood.  Aaron took her from me so I could check her out more and he could calm her some more (I was starting to completely lose it).  I immediately asked God… um for real… I asked for CALM not chaos.  I figure he is doing this to test me in some way.  Use me as a pawn.. my marriage.. but not Charli.  Anyways.  So I eventually took her back and wouldn’t let her go.  I want to put my kid in a bubble!  AHHHHHH.  This running conversation with God is going to be a long long long one   Specially since today she tried to do gymnastics OFF the recliner and into the piano later and then almost fly off the couch backwards… BUBBLE!

All in all.  No matter what is going on… I wouldn’t change anything just because I wouldn’t have the best blessing ever… Charli.  I was put on this earth to be her mother.  That is something I truly feel in my heart.