I adore my daughter.... I can't wait to give her siblings :) Ok, I can wait a little bit... just barely. She is so cute. I LOVE watching her grow and learn and change. Every day she amazes me more.
This Labor Day we drove down to Catawba, VA for the Webb reunion.... things are always "more fun"/ special when we go away. Charli gets special foods she isn't normally allowed to have and gets to be messy :) She loves it!
Eating breakfast, fruit loops, on the bed.....
Literally... ON THE BED!
How big does she look here!!!! AHHHHH. She is cuteness!
I used some techniques this weekend that I learned in my camera class! Tomorrow is my second class. Two more after it! I am so excited!
This Sunday is 9/11. The ten year anniversary. To say I am anxious and already worried is an understatement. My husband is a pilot. He will be in NYC on that day. It freaks me out to no end. I truly know that more than likely, NYC is probably going to be the SAFEST place to be that day... but still. AHHH.
We still haven't heard from the bank on the house yet. HURRY UP! We need our sanity back. Our marriage has taken enough of a hit. Almost 2 years. I am crying daily. I have muscle spasms. My jaw has taken to locking up from the stress. I can't think straight. We think we can feel one of my bulging discs protruding more. I have started to scream at Charli when I get too stressed. I am thisclose to losing my mind. I think my family is beyond repair. One can only take so many shots to the heart before they die.... I've flatlined and come back to life too many times. Even though we'll only be 15 minutes away. I don't think I'll be able to have anything to do with my family for a long time after we move out. That is NOT to say we don't appreciate the roof over our head and the food in our bellys. But family is supposed to be more than just doing what you think is right. You are supposed to love and cherish them. It sucks when love is one sided. While we were gone my Mom locked the cat in the basement utility room just because she was annoyed with him. She is just waiting for him to die and wishes it would happen soon. She is sick of taking care of him. Well that's how I feel she treats me. Like she is just putting up with us being here because she feels she has to. Not because she loves me and wants to. Really hard to stomach that when we used to be so close. I of course am a glutton for punishment and still try over and over again to have the relationship we used to. Only to be shot down and have my heart broken again. I can't keep doing this. I no longer want my family back to how we used to be. I no longer believe it was real. I think it was fake. It sucks.
I promise to NEVER let this happen to my little family. I promise to always love and cherish my children. NO MATTER the situation.
No comments:
Post a Comment