Loser....

Sometimes I just feel like such a loser.  I mean seriously... we still live with my parents.  It's getting hard to justify that we just couldn't afford to live on our own here right now.  Once Aaron gets upgraded... it is a no brainer.  I wish I would have been able to find a job where we could afford to move out AND put Charli in daycare.... only to get us out of here.  I love not having to put her in daycare and I love being able to stay at home with her.  Most people who find out we live with my parents understand.... its my parents who are making me feel like a loser.  I mean seriously... A LOT of people right now have to live with their parents.  Its not like we are the only ones.  We did not anticipate being here this long.  I would have NEVER thought things would feel the way they do from living with them.  Love ends.  That's how I feel.  It is no longer unconditional.  Its a day to day basis kind of thing.  It is so hard.  I am so over it.  All I want to do is pack up and run away.  Take my Charli bug and run far far far away.  Throw all respect and feelings to the wind.  I don't care whose feelings I would hurt by moving somewhere we could afford.... my heart, soul and marriage are seriously suffering by staying here.  I do everything I can to make sure my child is not suffering.  I do what I can to keep her from really understanding how bad its gotten.  I just don't know what to do!


Ahh so on a totally different note.  I'll be trying a new recipe on Monday morning for MOPS.  http://www.food.com/recipe/breakfast-casserole-with-a-biscuit-crust-132311 I'll let you know how it is.  I can't wait!  I can't wait just for the meeting too.  I am so needing a group like this.  Maybe more than I realized.  AHHHHH. 

I keep saying it... but I hate being this sad depressed negative person.  I want to get out of this funk!