I am going to do my best to NOT make this a "woe is me" post. I am so sick of being like that. But I did have a thought the other day about this... people always talk about pity parties. I for real want to have one. When I am unhappy and depressed I pull away from everyone because I don't want to be that person that just complains and cries all the time. Mom's get together in Mommy groups all the time... so I think we should start a PITY PARTY get together LOL. It would be the place to go and bitch about EVERYTHING. But make it like "what happens in pity party stays in pity party" LOL. You get to just let go and have everyone be fully understanding and listening to you for a certain amount of time... say 15 minutes and then it moves on to the next person. I bet it would be disgustingly therapeutic! It would be just like going to see a shrink but its really your friends. I mean who really knows what all is going on with their friends? The things that scare them in their lives, marriage and parenting. The things that are just going wrong and making them crazy. Even if they feel its trivial and juvenile this would be a place to just put it out there. No judging and no assumptions. Just letting go.
Just saying that made me feel better. But things aren't better. In fact, I think they are worse. I feel used, abused and drained. I don't mean abused literally. I am just so unhappy. I feel like by mo ving home and having a baby, I ruined my marriage. I am the one who made my husband so stressed out he can't even stand to be home. By that I mean moving home is what stressed him out because of our living situation which was just made that much worse by adding a child to the mix. As much as I want to just lay it all out here on this blog, I can't. Out of respect for my husband and my marriage. Just pray for us please. I do ask that much. We need it.
So this past Thursday I started my camera class at FCC. Just in the first class I learned a lot about it! I'm already figuring out some things I was curious about! So far I feel the money was well spent! I am so excited to finish up this class and really get to work on using my camera!!!
Monday we are going to Aaron's family reunion down in Catawba, VA. I am excited. Last year it's were I met a lot of his family for the first time. Something I never thought would happen especially if we had stayed in TX. Because we are going, I am missing out on saying goodbye to my Grandma's house. They are all up there this weekend cleaning it out and getting ready to sell it. I can't even imagine what that is like for my aunts and uncle considering the house has been in their lives since they were very young. It is killing me to not be there but I really wanted to go down to VA for Aaron's reunion. My parents are bringing us back a ton of furniture from the house so I can keep it in the family and the memories.
So keeping with the being all over the placeness with this blog.... now for Charli updates. She is starting to walk. She will stand up all the time on her own with no support and she will take a couple steps between people. Just tonight she started to take some steps towards other things besides people. It is quite exciting. The first night she did it, I was crying so hard HAHA. She would get up, walk and go to my mom and I would shriek and cry. Freaked her out HAHA. My bad. EVERY time she did it I did the same shrieking and crying! I was so excited. She has also been pretty cuddly and wanting to always sit on my lap lately. I LOVE IT. Sometime about 2 weeks ago I swear the kid woke up and decided she is in love with books. Before, we couldn't even get her to sit still for a book or even look at one. Now it is all she seems to want anything to do with. It is so cute. She will bring you a book and if you hand it back to her or are busy, she cries until you read it to her. I love that she seems so interested. She is also pointing and grunting at everything until you tell her what it is. I have been telling her what everything is and giving her stories or definitions of things. For example, today we had a terrible customer service issue at Walmart... well I took it as the perfect opportunity to explain to my ONE YEAR OLD why it was bad customer service and how it was just flat out rude. She seemed to be hanging on my every word.. BAHAHA. Oh well.
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