So this all starts almost 2 years ago when we still lived in TX. After our wedding and then the reception, we had gotten a lot of cash for gifts. We jokingly started talking about moving back home to MD. We had enough money to cover the moving expenses and said we were sure our friends and families would love having the money put towards being closer to them. So then started the talks. We talked to my parents and they offered up their place to them for 6-12 months while we got on our feet, I got a job and we could get our own place. ONE STIPULATION.... no babies. HAHA... well, we did NOT plan on actually getting pregnant yet. We set the move date to Thanksgiving weekend. We found out we were pregnant at the end of Oct.... that went over horribly with both sets of parents. We were surprised, but not really. We were as shocked as they were. The doctors had told me that I would struggle getting pregnant considering the miscarriage I had and the issues I was going through. THEY LIED. We had given ourselves a year to get pregnant... the very first day we started trying, we conceived. Who would have thought! At that point, we figured God had a reason for it all. He would NEVER give us more than we could handle and would always look out for us. I still wholeheartedly believe that. We figured even though the parents weren't too happy... who can deny a beautiful grandchild <3 (boy were we right). Well I had started looking for a job MONTHS before we even moved home... by the time we got to MD I was showing even though I wasn't even 4 months along. I got one interview out of the hundreds of jobs I applied to. I was finding that my degree didn't matter because I didn't have the experience...(that is a title for a whole different can of worms..) Long story short... I couldn't find a job. Eventually come January-February I started to have some health issues like debilitating migraines and almost dead like blood pressure. I had 3 doctors flat out say, DO NOT WORK. I still kept looking though. During all of that, my relationship with my Dad seriously started to deteriorate. He didn't understand that I really didn't do this on purpose. That I really wanted to get a job. That I more than wanted to get out of his house. That all I wanted was for him to still act like he loves me. Relationships are so fickle and hard to figure out sometimes. They go through the whole gamete of emotions all the time. Anyways, fast forward to June- we had Charlotte Faith. The relationship with my in laws has flourished and the one with my parents had sizzled. More often than not I was upset and frustrated. Fast forward to now.....
We are still living with my parents. We have decided that I am going to just stay home. We still kept looking for jobs for me but with Aaron's schedule, no one wanted me. No one even gave me the chance to explain how our schedule worked. That is ok... their loss and more time I get with my daughter and less money spent on daycare. That also meant we were staying with my parents even longer. The relationship with my mother has a rebound rate of a few minutes. We can be really upset with each other and the next day be able to be semi ok if not all the way ok. At this point... my Dad and I tolerate each other. Barely. Something always suffers when people live together. There is no winning with him. But it is ok. We will be out soon. I do have a job... possibly two. But not realican'ttakemydaughter jobs. I am watching a little boy Noah who is a month younger than Charli. I watch him a couple days a week so his Mom can get some sleep since she works nights as a nurse. I adore watching him. And I love his parents! They are a lot like Aaron and I. We get along great! Then I may be working as a companion to a girl our family knows who was seriously injured in a car accident a few years ago. Both of these allow me to bring Charli. And besides... I don't consider them jobs because I enjoy them so much. I just happen to get paid. It allows Aaron and I to save up even more money! We definitely need that. So onto that housing situation.....
Ok so let's just say we have some angels. We are buying a house. We have been looking for awhile now. Boy is the housing market crazy. Everything we find is foreclosures and short sales. Well foreclosures are usually trashed or close to it while short sales take FOREVER. Don't be fooled by the short in short sale! I am so excited to be getting a house. We are so BEYOND blessed to have this opportunity where we do. Our gratitude and thanks will never be enough to show how much we appreciate it. It is just funny how things work out. Like I said... God always has a plan. Pray for us and just for extra luck, cross your fingers :) It has already been quite the emotional ride as I of course fall in love with houses only to find they are WAYY over budget and/or sold or under contract. I am so big on the neighborhoods and schools because we have a kid now. Charli will more than likely attend at least kindergarten while in this house. This house hunt shows my true control freak colors more than ever. I didn't realize how bad I could be with it. Do NOT get me wrong, I am MORE than happy about it and thankful. I just don't handle not having the control well. I am not saying anything is being done wrong... I just feel out of control. Same with the rest of my life.
It is insane how much your living arrangements can affect your marriage. I love my husband and daughter more than words can explain. I love my family the same. But living all under the same roof is more than stressful. It has officially started to break the core that Aaron and I have. I fear what will happen if we don't tend to things. We are both just so stressed and frustrated that we take it out on each other. I want to be that couple we used to be. So loving and carefree. That is the household I want my children to grow up in and see. Not what we are right now. We just need time and freedom (not from each other.... but from this house). Thankfully we both grew up understanding we have to work at marriage and love will always prevail. Our love will withstand this. Right now for me, its seeing Charli smile at me that gets me through every day. And of course the amazing bear hugs from my husband that always seem to melt everything away.
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